More Tech Support Humor (Supposedly real)
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman
then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his is working fine."
Tech Support: "Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse pad, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable
to "The Internet."
Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."
Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons --
I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't
believe it was meant to --"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture'
of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?"
Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it
[Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"