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Featured Database Articles

MS SQL

Posted Apr 16, 2001

The Lighter Side - Page 11

By Steve Jones

Computer Problem Report Form

  1. Describe your problem:
    ________________________________________________________________

  2.  
  3. Now, describe the problem accurately:
    ________________________________________________________________

  4.  
  5. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
    ________________________________________________________________
  6.  

     
  7. Problem Severity:
    • A.Minor__
    • B.Minor__
    • C.Minor__
    • d.Trivial__

  8.  
  9. Nature of the problem:
    • A.Locked Up__
    • B.Frozen__
    • C.Hung__
    • d.Strange Smell__

  10.  
  11. Is Your Computer Plugged In?     Yes_____ No______

  12.  
  13. Is It Turned On?     Yes_____ No_____

  14.  
  15. Have you tried to fix it yourself?     Yes_____ No_____

  16.  
  17. Have you made it worse?     Yes_____ No_____

  18.  
  19. Have you had a "friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you?     Yes_____ No_____

  20.  
  21. Did they make it worse?     Yes_____ No_____

  22.  
  23. Have you read the manual?     Yes_____ No_____

  24.  
  25. Are you sure you've read the manual?     Yes_____ No_____

  26.  
  27. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?     Yes_____ No_____

  28.  
  29. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it?     Yes_____ No_____

  30.  
  31. If 'yes', then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself?
    ________________________________________________________________

  32.  
  33. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
    ________________________________________________________________

  34.  
  35. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were logged in?
    ________________________________________________________________

  36.  
  37. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?     Yes_____ No_____

  38.  
  39. Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00?     Yes_____ What's a VCR?_____

  40.  
  41. Do you have a copy of 'PCs for Dummies'?     Yes_____ No_____

  42.  
  43. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem?     Yes_____ No_____

  44.  
  45. Do you have any electronics products that DO work?     Yes_____ No_____

  46.  
  47. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on?     Yes_____ No_____

  48.  
  49. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top?      Yes_____ No_____

  50.  
  51. Is the machine on fire?      Yes_____ No_____

  52.  
  53. Can you do something else instead of bothering me?      Yes_____ No_____

  54.  


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