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Posted Apr 16, 2001

The Lighter Side - Page 3

By Steve Jones

Cell Phone Horror Stories

I saw these on MSNBC, but am including them here in case the link moves (seems to happen on MSNBC quite often). Here is the original: http://www.msnbc.com/news/547829.asp?bt=msn&btu=http://go.msn.com/zzj/1/1.asp?target=http://msn.com.

Name: Ann
Hometown: Dallas
We were at the graveside service for my MOTHER when a relative sitting behind the immediate family received a call on her cell phone. YES, she DID take the call, instead of turning the darned thing off! How strange to have the minister trying to talk loud enough to be heard over her conversation...OUTRAGEOUS and insensitive!!!

Name: Wren73
Hometown: Columbus, Ohio
A person driving a van was talking on her cell phone and plowed into the side of my elderly neighbor's minivan while driving through an intersection with 4-way stop signs, pushing the minivan across a lane of the road up over the curb, across the sidewalk and into some bushes on the other side. She insisted she had stopped! She wasn't paying attention - it was a little neighborhood street with little traffic so I guess she thought she didn't have to pay attention. I like N.Y.'s law - no cell phones while driving!

Name: Lori
Hometown: Fresno, Calif.
Cell phone use while driving is still, above and beyond, my largest pet peeve. I too have a cell, but don't use it in stop-go traffic. I finally had it when the other day, some woman on a cell phone was driving not 5, not 10, but 15 miles UNDER the speed limit and swerving all over the road. At first I was apprehensive to pass for fear of it being a drunk driver or the like. I finally creeped around her, using my signal...and what does she do but almost run into the side of me as i'm passing. TWICE even!!!
I finally get past her, and glare over at her, seeing she's laughing it up talking to someone on her cell phone. Needless to say, a missile launcher welded to the top of my car would have been a nice feature at that moment.

Name: Terry Kuhlman
Hometown: Dearborn, Mich.
I am a vendor ("beer guy") at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit at Red Wings games. These pompous, hey-look-at-me, big shot wannabees talk on these things all the time. During the game, blocking aisles at intermission, and waving across the arena at another self-absorbed show-off with a cell phone are common occurrences. They want everyone to see how important they are -- as if they are closing deals or making huge stock transactions each time they are on the phone. I support a total ban on this nonsense.

Name: Vince Love
Hometown: Washington, D.C.

Construction driver wiped out my rear quarter panel on my mini van while talking on cell phone. He then denied it!

Name: Michael
Hometown: Dallas, Tex.
How bad does anyone need to talk on a phone? Just the other day in Dallas, Tex. (where I live);a woman was pulled over by a cop and soon realized that she was DRIVING, APPLYING MAKEUP, EATING, AND TALKING ON HER CELL.(DURING RUSH HOUR) I myself have a cell phone furnished by my company, but, it has a speaker-phone and I don't even have to hold it or anything.

Name: Yvonne
Hometown: Midway City, Calif.
I was attending church service one Sunday morning. The Pastor was in the middle of his sermon when the person sitting behind me received a phone call. She actually answered the phone and started a conversation! Everyone looked at her and she left the room.

Name: Cheryl Pfirrman
Hometown: Edgewood, Ky.
Which one do you want to hear about? LOL
Just the other day I was in the check out line at a store and the woman behind me while chatting on the phone almost plowed me over with her shopping cart.
She wasn't bothering to pay attention to the fact that I was standing in front of it and kept running it over the back of my heels.
I finally caught her eye and the look I gave her must have gotten the message across because she backed off.
I am waiting to see a couple of people beating each other senseless over this kind of thing.

Name: Amber
Hometown: Flagstaff
I work in a movie theatre and I was in the concession stand it was really busy and the lines were very long. I had one man approach my counter and say, "F*****g A! What's wrong with you people, can't you move any faster?!" I ignored the man's rude comment and said, "What can I get for you?" in my sweetest voice. He went ahead and started to give me his order. I already knew his drink and popcorn order, but needed to know if he wanted butter. Just as I turned back to ask, his cell phone rang. I let him answer it and then got his attention to ask about the butter. I said, "Would you like but-" when he cut me off. "Dammit can't you see that I'm on the phone? You can wait just a goddamn minute!"
I replied in a very controlled voice, "Were you not the person who just complained about us going faster?"
"That doesn't matter, I am on the phone!"
I walked off. And told my manager the story and that they would have to deal with him. When my manager walked up the guy was still on the phone. My manager said, "Excuse me sir... excuse me?" The man shot him a dirty look and turned away. My manager simply took the mans popcorn threw it away, poured out the drink and told me to help another customer. I called another customer forward. And my manager walked out of the concession stand into the lobby to stand next to the man. The man became enraged when I started to help the next person and finally told the person on the phone he had to go. The man turned to me and started to complain, but my manager cut him off. "I'm sorry sir but you have been unforgivably rude, and will have to leave the theater immediately." One can imagine the argument that ensued.
My manager (Ben) is not a small man, he stands at 6'4" is thin but muscular and 22, this man was probably in his mid-thirties, about 5'6" and painfully thin. When the man demanded his money back for his
ticket Ben explained that since he was being kicked out he didn't get his money back. The man took a swing at Ben, who avoided it and immediately turned to tell someone to call the cops. When he turned the man threw his cell phone and hit Ben in the side of the head. Ben turned back to dodge another swing. Ben started to take a swing at the man but thought better of it. By that time another male manager had come to back him up. The guy grabbed his cell phone off the ground and dialed 911. Once the operator was on the line he would only scream obscenities at her, so she hung up on him. By then the police had gotten there. The man threw the phone at one of the cops and hit the guy in the face. In order to subdue and arrest the man the police had to chase him across our lobby tackle him and hog tie him. The whole time he kept screaming, "I was making a phone call! You never interrupt someone on the phone!"
He got nine months in jail for public misconduct and resisting arrest.

Name: Debbie Engle
Hometown: Gainesville, Fl.
I was in a local restaurant and a woman a few tables over got a call on her cell phone... Loud ringing... when she finally answers it she had a very loud voice with a very flowery vocabulary! I heard about her No Good #$%#^ Husband, Her son of a &*^%$ Boss and her piece of #%@*! car. This happened repeatedly during our meal. I learned more about this stranger in half an hour then I know about my best friend! Fortunately my teen-age daughter was there to see how rude some people are with their phones and she vowed never to use her phone for anything but emergency use. That was 1 year ago and she still only uses her phone to let us know she is OK, which is why we got it for her in the first place. So even though this was a very miserable and embarrassing experience for my family, it was a lesson to a teen-ager, to respect others no matter where you are!

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